Tuesday, August 02, 2005

Talented Egyptian Press Does Not Stop to Impress Us!

Contribution by: Ali Al-Masri

Akhbar El-Yom newspaper: Poor Mubarak, he can't eat Kebab, molokhiya, mahshi or go shopping

Dear Friends and Colleagues,

Please allow me to share with you extracts from an editorial written by Mr. Momtaz El-Qot, the newly appointed editor-in-chief of Egypt's prominent weekly newspaper, Akhbar El-Yom, on Saturday July 30, 2005.

El-Qot, like all new editors of government-controlled newspapers who were appointed by Gamal Mubarak nearly a month ago, has been a staunch government defender in Arab satellite channels, viciously attacking opponents and accusing them of being agents for America and West. Yet, this following editorial was the most incredible, and has crossed all lines, turning Mr. El-Qot into a joke and a subject of ridicule by almost all opposition and independent newpspars in Egypt.

Please hold your breath. “Mubarak is a human being. But if we looked deeper and closer, we would find that he has been a human being of a special kind. You (as an average citizen) might feel worried over the future of your children and grandchildren, losing your sleep when you face a certain problem, or find yourself unable to meet their demands. But President Mubarak carries the worries of all Egyptians. He wants to achieve all their dreams. He wants them to live happily, to increase their allowances and double their salaries. He is unhappy with the spreading problem of private lessons (due to the failure of the education system), and distressed for the suffering of a poor or deprived person who can’t himself. He feels distressed and sleepless by the sound of pain, Ouch, coming out from a patient who can’t find medicine. In bad times, the president is also the first to offer condolences and provide support.”

You think that’s too much? No. Not yet. Take this next hysterically funny paragraph written by Mr. Mumtaz El-Qot, (whose name would translate into English as Mr. Wonderful the Cat). “You and me eat whatever we want. But the president can’t do that. Any president has to follow a strict diet and medical system in which calories are weighed very carefully. The president might be the only Egyptian who can’t eat mahshi of cabbage, aubergine, and peppers (a very popular Egyptian dish in which rice, meat, onions and other green vegetables are stuffed in cabbage, aubergine, peppers, squash and almost anything). He might be the only Egyptian who does not smell of cooking of molokhyia (another very popular Egyptian vegetable known here as slimy green soup) or okra. He might not even know the taste of Sayediaya fish (an Alexandrian fish dish). And he might be unable to eat this, and eat this, even if he loved that kind of food.. But he can’t. Doctors will prevent him, and like most other presidents, you will find out that they eat sauté food only, which we (Egyptians) describe as the food of the sick people, and wouldn’t be able to eat for more than two days in a row. Or you might find out that presidents can only eat small pieces of bread and cheese with no fat whatsoever, and even the fish they eat has to be boiled.

The president’s movements are also carefully planned. He can’t take a walk on Qasr El-Nil Bridge, sit on a coffeeshop in Al-Hussein neighbourhood, or let his foot lead him to a kabab restaurant or to buy new clothes. Did you ever see the president standing in front of a shop window checking what’s inside like millions of people, or all people, do? Could the president get the chance to sit one afternoon together with his children and grandchildren, or could he even spend the night with his family in front of the TV watching a movie? Could he, and could he and could he? In the end, the presidency turns into a huge prison, even if it was in gardens of Jasmine and flowers.”

So why should Mubarak bare all these trouble, this deprivation from such valuable pleasures of life (eating mahshi, melokhya, okra and kebab, or shopping and watching tv)? Al-Qot answers: “The man who is burdened with our concerns decided to continue his march at a time when Egypt is facing many dangers and challenges which require all of us (Egyptians) to be united around one man’s heart. A heart which is only occupied today with concerns on how to preserve the achievements of his country, and how he could help Egypt overcome a critical crossroad and conflict which some of us might not be aware of the extent of its danger, ill intentions and criminal goals.”

Mr. Al-Qot’s article goes on and on in listing the reasons why all Egyptians should support Mubarak’s nomination forever, and that they should trust his promises that he would carry out more reforms if he gets re-elected. But I will stop here.
Thank you very much.

Thanks my friend for the contribution...Comments should be addressed to "the Wonderful Cat" for explanations??!!!
Signed Freedom For Egyptians


At 2:46 AM, Blogger Orientalism said...

great blog. I really feel sorry for our prez, if he steps down, I promise ill arange for him to eat molokhya and mahshi for the rest of his life! (mesh 3aref adhak wala a3ayat)

At 2:53 AM, Blogger Orientalism said...

i took an excrept for my blog if you dont mind, and i credited you

At 5:16 AM, Blogger Freedom for Egyptians said...

We should feel pity for our Prez ...poor he....then I think we should cry our eyes out for ourselves:(

Oh I saw my blog on your blog that looks so neat, thanks:)

At 10:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Dear Mr Wonderful Cat, I feel so sorry for the President. He also has to vote for everyone in about a month's time. Poor Prez.

At 4:20 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

My Good Lord, this is the most ridiculous thing I've ever read, I mean Mr. Cat's statements, of course.

I'm one of those few Egyptians, who dont like to eat stuffed aubergine, etc, Moreover, I like eating sautee vegetables and boiled fish....then do u think it would be easier for me to be a President??!!!


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